The Lies of Motherhood

I'm half-thinking about creating a new blog entirely and calling it "The Lies of Motherhood," because every day I have to laugh at myself for thinking that this was going to be slightly more predictable and easier than it is. 

Here are my thoughts of the day:

Lie #1 of Motherhood:  You won't be able to leave your child's side for at least the first six months.

Ok, look it is hard for me to leave Abby for more than an hour or two.  But any time I hear a mom say "Oh, I just enjoy being with him/her so much that I don't really need to have any time to myself," I throw up a little in my mouth.  Stop.  Just stop.  You are a human being.  And human beings need the occasional five-minute increments of silence (or, in my case, the occasional five-minute increments of listening to the car radio at a higher volume).  Start being honest with yourself.  Or, if you are a parent that truly feels this way...knock it off.  You're making the rest of us look bad. 

Furthermore, I get that there may be some insecurities associated with leaving the little peanut.  In my case, I leave Abby with either my parents or my hubby's parents.  All four people have had years upon years of experience raising kidlets.  There's really no reason for me to fret when she's with them.  So, am I a little anxious when I walk out the door?  Sure.  Do I tell myself to shut the !@#$ up and get myself a latte while I can?  Absolutely.  And do I enjoy every sip of that latte (as well as all of the noises that come along with making a latte)?  You bet your gosh darn tookus I do.  (Sorry, working on cleaning up the language before my peanut becomes a parrot.) 

Lie #2 of Motherhood:  Only I know what will calm down my child.

Again, I say "nay nay."  Just the other day, while visiting Naomi (a good friend who has been a nanny for more kids than I can say), Crabigail was threatening to make a full-fledged appearance.  Naomi scooped her up and started swinging her in a way that I've never tried, and her little eyes just lit up with delight.  I logged that one away in the back of my brain for future reference.

Sure, Tim & I know Abby better than anyone else, and we're going to be able to tell by even the slightest cry what she's asking for (most days, that is).  But when she's fussy, it's basically just a marathon of "Let's try this" or "Let's try that" moments until we finally find something that soothes the savage beast.  I'm not too proud of a person to close the doors to possible soothing techniques for my kid, especially when I'm so new at this. 

Lie #3 of Motherhood:  Life before your child will seem so meaningless now.

I think about this one all the time.  Now, on this one, I'm willing to fully admit that I may be of the minority opinion.  But the truth is my life before was not meaningless at all, and I actually think of all the little moments and big accomplishments of the past with a high level of fondness in my heart.  And my life now is so incredibly wonderful that I can't imagine it any differently.  The point is - it's comparing apples and oranges.  All of the joy, sadness, anxiety, and excitement that I felt in life has led me up to this point, and all of those life experiences are going to make me a better mother.  I don't feel like I can shrug that off as meaningless.  Furthermore, I would be a liar if I said I didn't miss certain parts of my pre-baby life.  I miss being able to go out for drinks and hand my hubby the keys at the end of the night.  I miss cooking dinner on a regular basis.  I miss being able to spontaneously do anything.  But that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate and love my life now!  

I actually get somewhat frustrated when I hear people say that being a stay at home mom is harder than any other job on the planet for this same reason.  Again - apples and oranges in my book.  The level of exhaustion that I feel after a sleepless night and a restless day with my munchkin is so starkly different than the exhaustion I felt as a full-time graduate student who worked two jobs and picked up extra hours as a babysitter on the side.  The level of stress from one lifestyle is not greater than the other because they aren't even comparable.  I will say this, though - the rewards that you feel from the job of stay at home mom are so much greater than any reward I received from a business or non-profit organization. 

Annnnnd that's all the time that the little one will allow me to have.