Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Halloween 09

Hellllooooo out there. I'm back.

We received our infamous Party City catalog today, with all their splendid costume options for this season. As always, I immediately flipped it open and started looking through to see if they had any new and/or cute costumes to choose from (otherwise I'd have to resort to my age-old pirate costume...and Lord knows there are just too many pirates).

Now, every year, I'm always a little stunned at the amount of skin that some people are willing to show on Halloween, but the shock factor doesn't last too long, and I usually brush past the lingerie section of the ads to check out the Burger King or the Bacon&Eggs costume prices. But this year, I had to flip glossy page after glossy page to get to the incredibly small section at the back of the catalog that had a shred of humor and (dare I say it) decency.

Ladies and gentleman, the fashion industry has done it again. You have the traditional options such as "the Statue of Liberty" (Now complete with short skirt and garter belt!), and "story book sweetheart" (I'm pretty sure that making a young girl character into a sex icon is looked down upon in most cultures, although clearly it's alright in the American tradition).

But fear not! You have some new choices!

How about "the Eskimo cutie? A brown, low-cut dance leotard that flares out into a short skirt, complete with cotton fluff along the trim of the skirt, and a hood with two puffballs attached to the pull strings that will never be used. Throw on your favorite pair of white uggs that your daddy bought you to make the costume complete. (Newsflash: Eskimos don't wear those kinds of clothes outdoors. Only desperate girls in Michigan do.)

Or you can be "the Tribal Princess"! With feathers from some unknown bird that certainly never wandered the plains of this great land, lots of cleavage, and some fringe that (if you're lucky) will cover your cheeks, you'll look identical to Chief Slap-A-Hoe's wife.

Here's my point: There's no use in dressing like this on Halloween. If you want to get adventurous and show off your fun, kinky side, do it in the bedroom. Resorting to these kinds of costumes out in public only proves that you lack self-respect, self-worth, and creativity. Besides, you should leave some of those features that you prize most about yourself hidden (or only hinted at), thus leaving it up to the imagination of those who are interested in you - that makes you more desirable than throwing it all out there for anyone and everyone.

Oh well. Maybe I'll resort to the Greek Goddess costume. Or maybe I'll just dress normally and wear a sign that says "Nudist On Strike." Anything's better than the Eskimo cutie.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hey there, Hollywood.

Alright, Hollywood, let's have a chat. You know about "Juno," right? Fantastic work there, my friends. Teenage pregnancy and all of it's cuteness. And how about that "Secret Life of an American Teenager" television series? You know, you really nailed it on the head with that one - that's EXACTLY what it's all about.

Now, the birth of a child is always something amazing. And that baby, in all of it's compactness and cuteness, is able to control your life in the blink of an eye, simply because that's all the time it takes for that love to consume every centimeter of your heart.

But there's more to it than that. Let me take a shot in the dark here and say that it's actually not all sunshine, roses, and puppy dogs with ferociously wagging tails.

Say! There's an idea for a movie! Ok, follow me on this one - how about we do a bit on teenage pregnancy from the perspective of the entire family? We'll still follow the mother and the child, of course, but wouldn't it be interesting to see whether or not the family is affected at all by the situation? I mean, who knows, maybe it's the most emotionally turbulent time for the various members?

Follow the mother and father of the teen. After fully raising children of their own and getting ready to spend the money they've saved for kid-free relaxation and retirement, they now have to assist in raising another child in all aspects. They feel responsible on all levels for both the teen and the new baby, and to take a step back and let things happen the way they would if she was in a typical single-mother situation is next to impossible.

Follow the siblings. Some may have the opportunity to move out, feeling as if they've abandoned the family in some senses while in other senses feeling relieved that there is a chance for them to continue life in the direction they initially chose. Others may not have that option, and must live feeling perpetually torn between helping the family as much as possible and trying to find their own path in life, with the end result being an overwhelming feeling of guilt and hopelessness no matter what choice is made.

And no matter what the circumstance, nobody allows themselves to truly feel any of these emotions or speak about them, because their love for the child is so strong that they would give anything to make sure that the baby receives whatever he or she needs. So they bury all of these justified attitudes deep, and let them fester and boil.

So what do you think, directors and producers? Do you think that this subject matter is surface-y enough to make a blockbuster hit for next year? Do you think some indie musicians would write some touching music to go along with it, warming the heart of every American viewer?

Yeah, I thought not. Maybe we should just let the truth take the back-burner to our fantasy versions of life. Besides, who wants to go to the movies to actually watch reality, right?

Monday, April 13, 2009

The finale

I'm doing something this summer that I've NEVER done before. A whole new experience for Pam - and a three to four month long one at that.

Ready? Drum roll please.

*ratta tatta ratta tatta ratta tatta tat*

This summer. I, Pamda Bear, will be working between 15-20 hours per week, taking no classes, and spending the remainder of my free time...relaxing.

WOAH! You weren't expecting that, were ya?

The main plan: North Carolina with my best friend/boyfriend, Tim. We're going to be staying with my cousin, his fiancee, and her little boy at their place in the mountains. Afterwards, we're going to be staying with my aunt and uncle for a night...and then we're off to a beach house. That's right - a little house right on the water. Late night and early morning walks on the beach, lounging around in the sand with a Steinbeck novel, and falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It's going to be the perfect blend of family time and Tim and Pam (also known as "Pim") time.

Here's a list of goals for the rest of the summer:
  • Hit up as many parks as possible.
  • Read any book that I want, as many as I want.
  • Watch every Jack Lemmon movie.
  • Play guitar.
  • Rinse, lather, and repeat.
I'm beyond excited. :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

New blog worth following

For all of those who are raising children, or who have an interest in children in general, you should check out my friend Naomi's blog - http://toraiseanation.blogspot.com

Naomi has been an amazing nanny for many years, and I've learned so much from her. She's working on writing a book, and from the discussions we've had about what kind of stuff she wants to include in it, it's going to be a must-read for anyone who wants to effectively raise children in this day and age. She's using this blog to get some feedback...and ya'll should check it out.

Call me crazy - and horribly overwhelmed.

Step 1: Take on too many jobs for money
Step 2: Take on too many jobs for no money
Step 3: Take classes that demand more time than any other class at Oakland U
Step 4: Make sure all of these factors clash at the same time
Step 5: Curl into the fetal position, suck on thumb, and cry.

Yeah - livin' the dream, people. I'm livin' the dream.

It's funny, because people always tell me that these are the best years of life. I guess I haven't quite seen the light yet, not because my life is miserable, but because I'm running around too much during the semester, and therefore I can't stop and take everything in.

I've been working on a paper for my communism class - and an intense one at that. I have to identify the economic, political, and social problems of education from a socialist's perspective, propose a set of solutions, and anticipate the arguments against said solutions. It's insanely difficult - within the past day and a half, I've perused five essays, eight books, and notes from Marx's work that I've read throughout the course of the semester. But the positive side of all of this is, despite the fact that I'm working so hard that I lose track of time, I think I may have found my calling.

I want to work on education reform. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure why. But the fact of the matter is the K-12 education system in America is so horribly flawed that there needs to be no bullshit, intelligent people that stand up and say that changes need to be made. All of these readings have really inspired me, not just because of the fact that there are so many problems within the system, but because the solutions are right in front of us, and they're actually possible. It's exciting to think that my future children really could have something better than what I had.

On a funny note, while I was working on this paper two days ago, I went and I stretched my back after being hunched over my computer for an extensive period of time...and something popped. I couldn't move. That's right - I threw out my back working on a paper. I'm just that intense.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What's that golden ball in the sky?

Yes, that's right - it's the sun. And guess what, Michiganders - it's actually going to get above 40 degrees tomorrow. I'm so glad - I was beginning to think that Jesus hated us and wanted us to die, lips blue and nostrils dripping icicles like Jack from "The Shining."

I decided about a week ago that I'm going to start babysitting little Aiden three days a week, 6 am - 1:30ish pm. I'm kind of stoked about the hours, because that means that I get to sleep in an extra two hours and still get morning shifts of some sort. Plus, it's a guaranteed 21 hours a week, and then an additional 10-15 a week at Caribou, so I'll actually be making relatively decent money. I'm apprehensive, though, and for obvious reasons: I don't want this to turn into a situation in which, like most other bosses I've ever been employed under, my services are taken advantage of and my back becomes the perfect place to walk upon. That'd be especially bad in this situation, considering it's my family that I'm working for...yikes with stripes. But, trying to look on the bright side again, at least I get to play with lil' peanut on a regular basis now, and it's starting to get warmer so I might even be able to take him on the occasional adventure.

Tim and I are going to be heading down south this summer! (And no, we're not cousins who are trying to find a loophole and get hitched. Assholes.) The dates are set - May 4th through the 9th. We're going to start off by (hopefully) driving through the mountainous regions of NC and seeing my cousin, his girlfriend, and her little boy. The next day, we'll be driving an additional four hours to see the remainder of my family that lives in that state, including my godmother and my uncle who moved about two years ago. Then, for the remainder of the trip (drum roll please), we're going to be staying in a private beach house, just off the water...I'm so freaking excited. A vacation very much needed for the two of us - I think I'm going to start a count down.

On that note, I need to start my massive amount of homework. Oh, and if there are really bizarre typos throughout this blog, it's because my computer has decided that it doesn't particularly like to type, so I have to jam my fingers on the keys in order for the letters to pop up correctly...my poor laptop, all it wants to do is curl up and die "Million Dollar Baby" style - but I don't believe in euthanasia, especially when I have two months left in my semester and I need this laptop. It's unfortunate.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Grey, February days and a steering wheel.

Today, for the first time in quite a while, I decided to get in my car and just drive.

Needless to say, it's been a rough-ish month with the various adjustments to the new baby in the house, classes being tougher than ever, and friends dropping off the map like flies because of the ever-important job hunt. So this afternoon, I was having a difficult time getting the nasties out of my head. I played guitar for a while, but nothing was sounding right. I tried reading, writing, even using some pastels and drawing - nothing seemed to take the edge off.

So, I got in my car.

I made it all the way down to OU's campus with the intention of walking around and posting flyers around the various buildings, only to realize as soon as I parked that I had left my coat at home, and in the twenty minutes it took for me to get to the OC the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees.

So, back in the car.

I stopped and got a hot chocolate at the new Bean and Leaf cafe in Rochester. (Not to be "that guy" that advertises in their blog, but ya'll should go to this place. Their tea is unbe-freaking-lievable, especially the cinnamon one. Nom nom nom.) Afterwards, I just put my ipod on shuffle and continued to drive north, letting my mind go blank.

On days where your goal is to be productive, to get as much done as possible, and to put all of the negative thoughts out of your mind until you have time to deal with them later - sometimes those are the best days to let the steering wheel and your cheap speakers in your beat up Ford Escort ZX2 take control of your life. It was soothing to just drive around various areas of Macomb and just look at the trees, thinking that soon the sun would be shining for more than ten minute spurts and we would see the blossoms fill the branches...I don't think any form of productivity could have put me in that mindset today.

So, when all I wanted was to go out and actually spend spring break doing something worthwhile and memorable, apparently all my brain needed was a long car ride with no one but the stereo speaking. Who would've thought.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Warm fuzzies on a fluffy snowflake day

Little Aiden Michael Hester was born 8:23 pm yesterday evening. A whopping seven pounds and four ounces, and a bundle of pure sweetness. His eyes are so bright, and at less than a day old, he's already trying to look around figure everyone and everything out. His mom's doing great, grandparents are smiling from ear to ear, and I'm caught up in all of my thoughts just trying to comprehend the entire situation.

When I was looking at him yesterday, touching his tiny little fingers and chubby little cheeks, I tried to fully comprehend how people choose not to believe in God when something so perfect and so pure can come into existence within nine months. Little button nose, a bit of peach fuzz on the top of his head, rosebud lips - each feature is distinctly his as well as distinctly linked to various members of our family.

And at the same time, as perfect and pure as that little creature is, it's amazing how just a little coo from him while he's curled up in your arms can strike a bit of fear into your heart. In a few short hours, I realized that my whole life is going to be completely different from this point on, in a lot of wonderful ways, and in a lot of ways that will cause plenty of frustration and tears. You can't help but wonder about all the ways that he'll succeed, and yet you're worried to see where the bumps (or even sinkholes) will appear on his path.

While all of these thoughts were racing through my head, I just held him close as he scrunched his tiny nose and yawned, and all I could tell him with conviction was "I'm Auntie Pammy - and I'm going to spoil you rotten."

Monday, January 26, 2009

...I think it's broken.

Tim and I were walking to a shoe place in downtown Rochester, when I noticed a faded yellow sign leaned up against the door that said "HOE REPAIR" in bold, black letters.


Here's a list of questions:

1. What factors determine a broken hoe?

2. How do we know if this hoe desires to be fixed?

3. Does the hoe have a choice in how it's repaired?

4. Who does the repairing of the hoe?

5. Is hoe repair something you can get a degree in, or is it a simple certification process?

6. In these horrible economic times, are there ample opportunities for hoe repairmen and women, or are there simply not enough hoes to go around?

7. Do hoe repairmen and women aim to change the face of the planet, one broken hoe at a time?

8. Is hoe repair an hourly position, salary position, or based solely on a hoe-by-hoe basis?

For all of you who are interested, these are the sorts of questions that political scientists should always be asking. That is why, in fact, I've chosen to finish this blog and go to bed as opposed to finishing my homework for my Communism course.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Discoveries

The retreat this weekend was unbelievable on so many levels. From Tom's impression of Grover, teaching us all the concept of the words "near" and "far," to misunderstandings during the game Catch Phrase ("He wrote the Peanuts" sure sounds an awful lot like "He rode the penis"), to simply reconnecting with friends ("You're the Mindy to my Mork") and with God (who is also a good friend) - I was smiling nonstop. I feel as if I've been so disconnected with humanity over the past couple of months, and this was exactly the jump start that I've been needing.

It's amazing how even when you're on the planning team, sometimes certain aspects of the retreat really hit you once your actually going through the motions on the planned weekend. I fully realized that I've been going through a mild form of depression for the past month. I really thought it was a bad case of the winter blues initially, considering how cold and gray it's been since freakin' October. But honestly, I've been sleeping more than usual (not just because of my bizarre work schedule), I've been separating myself more and more from friends because I felt so numb and I didn't want people to notice it, and I feel like I'm an outsider with my own family...and I know exactly what it is that's dragging me to the teary-eye mood level. It's not like the situation is going to go away any time soon, but even just in coming to the reality that I was down and not just persistently sleepy and numb helped me to feel loads better.

So, there's going to be lots of working out, crocheting, and drawing over the next couple of months in an attempt to heal. Look out, world :)

Tim and I spent an amazing day together. Starting off with visiting my family (it was my mommy's birthday on Friday), we then went to get a simple soup-and-salad dinner and watch the movie "Defiance" with his brother, Brian. Unbelievable movie, might I add. It was intense - not for the faint of heart by any means, but an incredible story that you really don't want to miss out on. It was just so wonderful to spend a day with the boy - it's incredible to me that even after a year of dating, I still get the butterflies in my stomach and serious sweaty-hand-syndrome when we're holding hands during a movie.

Alright, time to go to bed. 4 am comes early (believe it or not). More to come later.