Graduation

Yeah, yeah, I know. I suck at posting. I'm really, legitimately hoping that changes this summer.

So four years have come and gone, and I'm officially an OU alumni as of May 1st, 2010. Granted, I'm just going right back, so this is more of a massive speed-bump than anything, but I still can't fully wrap my head around the fact that I'm finished. I didn't get the grades that I wanted, and maybe I didn't do everything that I wanted to in the past four years - but I got through it, and I couldn't be more proud of myself.

For those of you who couldn't be at the graduation mass at SJF this past Sunday (*cough*Manda*cough*), I figured I would post my reflection here in case you were interested in reading it.

"Let me just say for starters, and I’m sure every graduate here can agree with me - I never thought I’d get to the point where I’d actually be wearing this cap & gown.

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Pam Hester and I’m officially an OU alumni with a degree in Political Science & English (which basically means I’m OK with the idea of peanut butter & jelly at least twice a day for the next five-ish years). Because I’m passionate about American politics, I’ll often find myself getting into in-depth discussions about current events with people, particularly when it comes to the area of social justice, and almost every person that I’ve ever talked to in this sense will always ask “Why in the world are you a political science major?” It’s as if I’ve willingly accepted some sort of disease that will inevitably make me cantankerous, irrationally partisan, and greedy beyond all reason.

The truth is, getting this degree hasn’t just helped me become a more informed citizen, or a well-rounded student that’s ready to take on the master’s level courses in the fall. There’s a strong Christian calling for me within the social sciences. In the Gospel today, we hear Jesus give us that beautiful new commandment - the one that is as essential to being a Christian as believing in the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior: “As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples.” It’s agape - that unconditional and sacred love that should know no boundaries, have no expectations, and come as naturally as a smile.

There are so many examples of modern day Christian love emanating through what seems like nothing but depressing times, but sometimes it’s the smallest things that strike your heart so strongly that you feel as if Jesus himself is standing right next to you. A few years ago, I was working at a local bookstore at Christmastime (which seems like the strangest setting for an example of agape, considering any retail environment during the holiday season is just plain terrifying, but stick with me). We were in the middle of a massive rush, and I had a woman come up to the register with two impatient children, a huge pile of expensive items, and an expired coupon. Needless to say, she wasn’t pleasant. We completed her transaction, and she moved over a few feet to wrestle her kids into their jackets before they went out in the cold. Right after her, I had a boy come up to the register, and he was mentally impaired. He had a Magic Tree House book that he wanted to buy, and he handed me a five dollar bill. The problem is, those books typically run about $15. I tried to explain to him that he didn’t have enough money, but I couldn’t get him to understand, and I was at a complete loss as to what to do (furthermore, I couldn’t reach into my own pocket - that’s just asking for a write-up). The woman that I had just helped earlier was still working with her kids when she looked up and saw what was going on. Despite the fact that she was frantic, she came over and said quietly “Let me pay for the book.” She kept it subtle - she didn’t expect any thanks from the boy or any acknowledgment from anyone. She just paid for it, smiled, scooped up her antsy children and merchandise, and walked out the door. That’s agape.

Another smaller example of this kind of love took place when I was actually living on campus at OU. During the winter months, I had tendonitis in my foot, so I was on crutches. Now, for those of you who have never been on OU’s campus, let me just sum up what it’s like to get to and from class - there’s no straight path to any, ANY of the buildings, and there’s always patches of ice lurking the in the shadows that catch you off guard every time. Furthermore, there’s no escape from the wind in the heart of campus - you’re caught in some sort of awful Winter Wonderland . So, to get to and from classes on crutches with a backpack full of books was insanely difficult, not to mention painful, and for whatever reason I wasn’t allowed to have a temporary handicapped parking pass. On one particularly windy and cold day, I was trying to get to one of the buildings, and I actually had to stop because every muscle in my body was aching. A person saw me, and he came up and offered to carry my books, and when he saw how much pain I was in he even offered to carry me. I told him that wouldn’t be necessary, but I definitely took him up on the offer to carry my stuff. What struck me the most about all of this was that after he helped me get to class and he took off to go to his, he didn’t ask me for my number of anything like that - he just did what he did to be genuinely kind. It’s been four years, and I still remember his kindness.

So, to link this all back to my calling to be active in the social science realm - I feel that the Christian love that Jesus expects of us includes this sort of beauty, but he also expects us to go beyond the temporary fixes that we are all more than willing to give. Feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless - it’s definitely a way to express our love, and it’s something that this community has embraced. But Jesus calls us to something deeper and much more challenging than the application of a band-aid. Feed the hungry - absolutely. But begin to ask the question as to why there’s hunger in the first place. Question why those with food are a minority, and while there are so many people who go hungry every night, the statistics of obesity are becoming even more and more staggering. Shelter the homeless - without a doubt. But with so many families on the brink of losing everything they have, the solution needs to go beyond providing a bed for an evening and it should focus on how to prevent this type of collapse in the future.

This is what I’m called to. For me, political science isn’t just the realm of crooked individuals with contradictory voting records and even worse catch phrases. It’s the area of study where I know that I can be an advocate for social justice. I know that in understanding the intricacies of the American political process, and learning more about the non-profit sector in my studies in the fall, I can begin to truly work towards that mission of love that Jesus has put forth for us. And it’s not just the political science realm that’s like that - that’s just my calling. Every graduate here has identified his or her strengths and weaknesses and found something that they’re passionate about. That passion in combination with the new commandment can be harnessed into something powerful and beautiful if we let it. It’s a way to use our gifts and talents that were bestowed on us from the moment of conception to bring this planet one step closer to the Kingdom of God.

I’m sure every graduate here can say that they have no idea what the future holds for them, especially in these uncertain times, and that’s terrifying and often pretty discouraging. But I’m confident in the fact that if we take what we’ve learned over the past four or more years and combine it with that unconditional love for our neighbor as Jesus expects of us, we’ll be living a life that far exceeds anything we imagined. It’ll be the life that God had envisioned for us before we even knew how to dream."

Thank you all for your love and support the past four years. I couldn't have done it without you.

Halloween 09

Hellllooooo out there. I'm back.

We received our infamous Party City catalog today, with all their splendid costume options for this season. As always, I immediately flipped it open and started looking through to see if they had any new and/or cute costumes to choose from (otherwise I'd have to resort to my age-old pirate costume...and Lord knows there are just too many pirates).

Now, every year, I'm always a little stunned at the amount of skin that some people are willing to show on Halloween, but the shock factor doesn't last too long, and I usually brush past the lingerie section of the ads to check out the Burger King or the Bacon&Eggs costume prices. But this year, I had to flip glossy page after glossy page to get to the incredibly small section at the back of the catalog that had a shred of humor and (dare I say it) decency.

Ladies and gentleman, the fashion industry has done it again. You have the traditional options such as "the Statue of Liberty" (Now complete with short skirt and garter belt!), and "story book sweetheart" (I'm pretty sure that making a young girl character into a sex icon is looked down upon in most cultures, although clearly it's alright in the American tradition).

But fear not! You have some new choices!

How about "the Eskimo cutie? A brown, low-cut dance leotard that flares out into a short skirt, complete with cotton fluff along the trim of the skirt, and a hood with two puffballs attached to the pull strings that will never be used. Throw on your favorite pair of white uggs that your daddy bought you to make the costume complete. (Newsflash: Eskimos don't wear those kinds of clothes outdoors. Only desperate girls in Michigan do.)

Or you can be "the Tribal Princess"! With feathers from some unknown bird that certainly never wandered the plains of this great land, lots of cleavage, and some fringe that (if you're lucky) will cover your cheeks, you'll look identical to Chief Slap-A-Hoe's wife.

Here's my point: There's no use in dressing like this on Halloween. If you want to get adventurous and show off your fun, kinky side, do it in the bedroom. Resorting to these kinds of costumes out in public only proves that you lack self-respect, self-worth, and creativity. Besides, you should leave some of those features that you prize most about yourself hidden (or only hinted at), thus leaving it up to the imagination of those who are interested in you - that makes you more desirable than throwing it all out there for anyone and everyone.

Oh well. Maybe I'll resort to the Greek Goddess costume. Or maybe I'll just dress normally and wear a sign that says "Nudist On Strike." Anything's better than the Eskimo cutie.

Hey there, Hollywood.

Alright, Hollywood, let's have a chat. You know about "Juno," right? Fantastic work there, my friends. Teenage pregnancy and all of it's cuteness. And how about that "Secret Life of an American Teenager" television series? You know, you really nailed it on the head with that one - that's EXACTLY what it's all about.

Now, the birth of a child is always something amazing. And that baby, in all of it's compactness and cuteness, is able to control your life in the blink of an eye, simply because that's all the time it takes for that love to consume every centimeter of your heart.

But there's more to it than that. Let me take a shot in the dark here and say that it's actually not all sunshine, roses, and puppy dogs with ferociously wagging tails.

Say! There's an idea for a movie! Ok, follow me on this one - how about we do a bit on teenage pregnancy from the perspective of the entire family? We'll still follow the mother and the child, of course, but wouldn't it be interesting to see whether or not the family is affected at all by the situation? I mean, who knows, maybe it's the most emotionally turbulent time for the various members?

Follow the mother and father of the teen. After fully raising children of their own and getting ready to spend the money they've saved for kid-free relaxation and retirement, they now have to assist in raising another child in all aspects. They feel responsible on all levels for both the teen and the new baby, and to take a step back and let things happen the way they would if she was in a typical single-mother situation is next to impossible.

Follow the siblings. Some may have the opportunity to move out, feeling as if they've abandoned the family in some senses while in other senses feeling relieved that there is a chance for them to continue life in the direction they initially chose. Others may not have that option, and must live feeling perpetually torn between helping the family as much as possible and trying to find their own path in life, with the end result being an overwhelming feeling of guilt and hopelessness no matter what choice is made.

And no matter what the circumstance, nobody allows themselves to truly feel any of these emotions or speak about them, because their love for the child is so strong that they would give anything to make sure that the baby receives whatever he or she needs. So they bury all of these justified attitudes deep, and let them fester and boil.

So what do you think, directors and producers? Do you think that this subject matter is surface-y enough to make a blockbuster hit for next year? Do you think some indie musicians would write some touching music to go along with it, warming the heart of every American viewer?

Yeah, I thought not. Maybe we should just let the truth take the back-burner to our fantasy versions of life. Besides, who wants to go to the movies to actually watch reality, right?

The finale

I'm doing something this summer that I've NEVER done before. A whole new experience for Pam - and a three to four month long one at that.

Ready? Drum roll please.

*ratta tatta ratta tatta ratta tatta tat*

This summer. I, Pamda Bear, will be working between 15-20 hours per week, taking no classes, and spending the remainder of my free time...relaxing.

WOAH! You weren't expecting that, were ya?

The main plan: North Carolina with my best friend/boyfriend, Tim. We're going to be staying with my cousin, his fiancee, and her little boy at their place in the mountains. Afterwards, we're going to be staying with my aunt and uncle for a night...and then we're off to a beach house. That's right - a little house right on the water. Late night and early morning walks on the beach, lounging around in the sand with a Steinbeck novel, and falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It's going to be the perfect blend of family time and Tim and Pam (also known as "Pim") time.

Here's a list of goals for the rest of the summer:

• Hit up as many parks as possible.
• Read any book that I want, as many as I want.
• Watch every Jack Lemmon movie.
• Play guitar.
  
• Rinse, lather, and repeat.

I'm beyond excited. :)

New blog worth following

For all of those who are raising children, or who have an interest in children in general, you should check out my friend Naomi's blog - http://toraiseanation.blogspot.com

Naomi has been an amazing nanny for many years, and I've learned so much from her. She's working on writing a book, and from the discussions we've had about what kind of stuff she wants to include in it, it's going to be a must-read for anyone who wants to effectively raise children in this day and age. She's using this blog to get some feedback...and ya'll should check it out.

Call me crazy - and horribly overwhelmed.

Step 1: Take on too many jobs for money
Step 2: Take on too many jobs for no money
Step 3: Take classes that demand more time than any other class at Oakland U
Step 4: Make sure all of these factors clash at the same time
Step 5: Curl into the fetal position, suck on thumb, and cry.

Yeah - livin' the dream, people. I'm livin' the dream.

It's funny, because people always tell me that these are the best years of life. I guess I haven't quite seen the light yet, not because my life is miserable, but because I'm running around too much during the semester, and therefore I can't stop and take everything in.

I've been working on a paper for my communism class - and an intense one at that. I have to identify the economic, political, and social problems of education from a socialist's perspective, propose a set of solutions, and anticipate the arguments against said solutions. It's insanely difficult - within the past day and a half, I've perused five essays, eight books, and notes from Marx's work that I've read throughout the course of the semester. But the positive side of all of this is, despite the fact that I'm working so hard that I lose track of time, I think I may have found my calling.

I want to work on education reform. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure why. But the fact of the matter is the K-12 education system in America is so horribly flawed that there needs to be no bullshit, intelligent people that stand up and say that changes need to be made. All of these readings have really inspired me, not just because of the fact that there are so many problems within the system, but because the solutions are right in front of us, and they're actually possible. It's exciting to think that my future children really could have something better than what I had.

On a funny note, while I was working on this paper two days ago, I went and I stretched my back after being hunched over my computer for an extensive period of time...and something popped. I couldn't move. That's right - I threw out my back working on a paper. I'm just that intense.

What's that golden ball in the sky?

Yes, that's right - it's the sun. And guess what, Michiganders - it's actually going to get above 40 degrees tomorrow. I'm so glad - I was beginning to think that Jesus hated us and wanted us to die, lips blue and nostrils dripping icicles like Jack from "The Shining."

I decided about a week ago that I'm going to start babysitting little Aiden three days a week, 6 am - 1:30ish pm. I'm kind of stoked about the hours, because that means that I get to sleep in an extra two hours and still get morning shifts of some sort. Plus, it's a guaranteed 21 hours a week, and then an additional 10-15 a week at Caribou, so I'll actually be making relatively decent money. I'm apprehensive, though, and for obvious reasons: I don't want this to turn into a situation in which, like most other bosses I've ever been employed under, my services are taken advantage of and my back becomes the perfect place to walk upon. That'd be especially bad in this situation, considering it's my family that I'm working for...yikes with stripes. But, trying to look on the bright side again, at least I get to play with lil' peanut on a regular basis now, and it's starting to get warmer so I might even be able to take him on the occasional adventure.

Tim and I are going to be heading down south this summer! (And no, we're not cousins who are trying to find a loophole and get hitched. Assholes.) The dates are set - May 4th through the 9th. We're going to start off by (hopefully) driving through the mountainous regions of NC and seeing my cousin, his girlfriend, and her little boy. The next day, we'll be driving an additional four hours to see the remainder of my family that lives in that state, including my godmother and my uncle who moved about two years ago. Then, for the remainder of the trip (drum roll please), we're going to be staying in a private beach house, just off the water...I'm so freaking excited. A vacation very much needed for the two of us - I think I'm going to start a count down.

On that note, I need to start my massive amount of homework. Oh, and if there are really bizarre typos throughout this blog, it's because my computer has decided that it doesn't particularly like to type, so I have to jam my fingers on the keys in order for the letters to pop up correctly...my poor laptop, all it wants to do is curl up and die "Million Dollar Baby" style - but I don't believe in euthanasia, especially when I have two months left in my semester and I need this laptop. It's unfortunate.