Oh headlines.

So, while perusing the online edition of the New York Times, I found a headline that said "Water Bears Triumph Over Outer Space."

...Now, I know what they were getting at. But all I could picture were big bears made out of water, swimming their way through outer space and placing a flag on all the planets in order to claim their territory.

Maybe I'm studying too much and my brain needed a vacation, but that made me giggle all the same.

AHHH!

Ever see a clip of something that's so amazingly funny that you can't stop giggling about it all day?

Yeup. This is one of those clips.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/

A break

I've just read a grand total of five chapters from my textbooks, as well as a few pages of classical philosophy from Plato and Socrates. So, I had to take a break to do my blog for my media and social identity class.

While surfing the web to find an article, I discovered that in blogs that people write for CNN or NY Times, you'll get the occasional AOL lingo. "That's sad," I thought to myself. "You would think they'd at least come up with some new little sayings just to be impressive in their 15 minutes of fame."

Then, I had the realization that there HAS to be lingo that I don't know about. So I looked up a list. And here's the fucking goldmine that I found.

CUI - Cracking up inside
CUL8R - See you later
CTN - Can't talk now
FTW - For the win (What the fuck?! Yeah, because I use that in my everyday chat.)
KOTC - Kiss on the cheek
IMO - In my opinion
SHR - Shower (...Really?)
YT - You there
YTB - You're the best
STFW - Search the fucking web (No, seriously, it was on the list.)
And...last but not least...
ROFLMAO

Yeah, there are a lot of people who say that our generation will be far surpassing in intelligence in every way, shape, and form. In my opinion (or IMO), if we can't even remember how to properly use real words, let alone in a sentence form, let alone understand and apply the more complex rules of grammar, I'm not quite sure how far we'll get...

Ah! Funny story!

I told Justin and Katie this story earlier, and I can't believe I didn't blog about it!

So, a while ago I was at DSW shoe store (if you make one comment along the lines of "You're such a woman," I'll jump through the screen and kick your ass). I was standing in line to make my purchase, and I proceeded to people watch.

A bigger woman was walking towards the doors, not looking where she was going because she was busy texting. (Now, before I proceed to tell the rest of the story, I want to emphasize how clean the windows on the doors were - they were spotless.) Anyways, she seemed to think that these super clean windows were a magical portal to the outside world. So, without stopping or slowing down or fucking anything, she slams into the window. The whole think shook to the point where I was sure it was going to break. She looks up from her texting with an expression similar to a deer's after it gets broadsided by a car, she scoots out the door as quickly as possible, and continues texting.

...I felt so bad, but at the same time, I couldn't stop laughing. It was just like watching an overly-large sparrow flying towards the window and thinking "...He's not going to stop."

Frustrating.

*Note - written May 9th, 2008*

So, I went to the John McCain town hall meeting this week at OU. And, I've got to say, I've never been so interested and infuriated all at the same time.

The main reason it was interesting was just to see a politician in action. I couldn't believe how he could so eloquently squirrel his way out of answering just about any straight forward question and still have his supporters eating out of the palm of his hand. All I could think was "How the hell did he do that?!"

He made some very good points about a variety of things. I like a lot of his ideas. But, I had a couple of huge issues with the whole event:

1. He came out immediately discussing human trafficking, freedom of religion, and child pornography. Don't get me wrong, these are huge issues that need to be addressed. But the fact is people need to hear that there's going to be some domestic relief on the home turf before we can find the strength to continue to be police officers across the world. Michigan is in a terrible position right now, and although these issues are of great importance, he should have come out and said "Folks, I know that's it rough, and I can't necessarily get you your jobs back, but here's what I've got planned."

2. There were four McCain protestors standing behind the bleachers, booing after every comment that McCain made that was in support of America. I have a couple of subpoints that go along with this.
a. If you have something to say, fucking say it. You don't like his campaign, there's nothing wrong with that, but create an intelligent question that addresses the issues that you have a problem with. It's young adults like you who just sit on the sidelines and bitch all the time about things that you don't even fully understand that give the rest of a bad reputation.
b. If you really wanted to stand up for what you believe in, volunteer for another person's campaign, or come out from behind the bleachers and show your face - if you're that passionate to the point of just being plain obnoxious and disrespectful, you shouldn't stand in the shadows. Don't be pansies.
c. Becoming politically involved does not mean reading up on one or two issues that you think define an entire person's campaign and then shoving those key points down our throats. This is not an effective way of understanding all the aspects of the person who is going to run our country. For example: just because a person respects life from the moment of conception until death does not mean he or she will have experience and insight necessary to run a country. That's the same for the opposite end of the spectrum - if someone is pro-choice, that doesn't necessarily mean he or she has what it takes. The same goes for issues involving the war in Iraq, social security, etc. READ UP ON EVERYTHING. You've got the time - if you've taken the time to read this blog, you have time to read up on summaries of every person's campaign.
d. If you're going to bitch about how nothing in this country is going right, do something about it. There's plenty of opportunities to fix this area/state/country/world, you just actually have to get up and look for it. Quit complaining - do something about it.

Overall, I'm still not sure who I'm going to vote for yet. I've got tons of time...but, all the same, it was so incredibly interesting to actually see a politician in action. I loved it. It infuriated me, but I loved it :)

Dear fashion industry

*Note - some of you have read this before. I've posted it on facebook and such ages back, but, I figured it should actually be added to my real blog.*

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Pam Hester. I'm a [junior] at Oakland University, studying literature, theater, and political science.

Now that I've introduced myself, I shall cut right to the chase - the style of clothing that is prominent in practically every single store royally sucks. Forgive me for being so bold, but, it took me over 6 days, 9 stores, and 30+ trips to the dressing room to find a suitable dress for a wedding.

Here's the deal - I'm curvy. That does not mean I'm fat - that means that I have breasts and hips. Now, your new line of clothing doesn't quite suit women who have even a slight hint of "mammers" or a wee bit of "junk in the trunk" as the young ones like to say these days. It's incredibly inconvenient for a multitude of reasons. Allow me to list why:

1. The new line of dresses and shirts make all women look like they're Prego the Momma Fish (in case you don't get the reference, that means pregnant).
2. The new line of dresses and shirts are also bright, vibrant colors that don't go well together at all, thus resulting in all women looking like pregnant hippies that have no sense of color coordination.
3. Big, flashy bows, ribbons, or sequins around my breasts really isn't necessary - I don't need a dress that makes my boobs look like a fucking Christmas present.
4. Because all of the new clothing has some sort of FUBAR pizazz to it, the prices are going up. Glitter, sequins, bows, multiple colors - it costs me (a poor college student struggling to pay bills, fill the gas tank, and save for a new car) a bloody fortune.

So please note - sometimes, a plain, simple, chic, and sexy black dress for a wedding is quite alright. Even for every day events, simple t-shirts and non-skin tight jeans work just fine. In fact, I kind of like carpenter style jeans or cargos for chicks. I don't need to be, nor do I want to be, a hoochie momma. So quit making every single fucking store 1.) unbelievably expensive, 2.) sell terribly hideous clothes, and 3.) create sizes and styles that make every woman feel like a bloated walrus who just ate 3 Big Macs and a few crunch wrap supremes.

May the gods smote you with horrible boils, giant frogs, rabid squirrels, and genital warts until you decide that it's time to design a new line of fashion.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

Wow. That's a good one.

"In celebration of Subliminal Communications Month, come up with your own message and a way to subliminally transmit it, then write about it." -Writers Block

Well, to be quite honest, I don't really feel that subliminalthezombiesarecomingcommunication is an effective tool of conveying any sort of message. For example: there was a commercial on not tooseriouslythey'reherelong ago for KFC where they had this picture of a chicken sandwich that was only a dollar. In the actual picture, there was a piece of lettucezombies!that, when you looked at it closely, had a small dollar bill drawn into it. This was supposed to make you think "Hey, that's so delicious, and so cheap!" But really, all I could think wasFUCKTHEY'REGOINGTOEATYOU"Anything made by KFC that's that cheap is probably looked down upon in third world countries, let alone in America."

So, I say "no thanks" to subliminal messaging. It doesn't do much for me.

Bummer

It's been officially one week since I've started classes, and I've gone through all of the typical "What the hell?!" stages that one experiences while returning to that little slice of heaven we call Oakland University.

1.) Somewhat excitement about starting a few (if not all) of your classes this semester, especially after reading through the student reports at www.ratemyprofessor.com

2.) Getting to campus near 45 minutes early just to find a parking spot, and still somehow managing to be late for class. Not to mention getting almost hit both inside and outside of your car during this process because a common side effect of stepping onto OU's campus is instant loss of any knowledge on correct and and un-douche bag-like driving.

3.) Pure irritation at the fact that people claim to be all-knowing in regards to literature, politics, music, and art, only for them to fall flat on their faces when confronted with a thought provoking question, leading to a response similar to "Down with Big Brother."

4.) Justin put it best - "I hope they legalize marijuana just so the pot heads have nothing left to talk about."

5.) Let's face it - your shirt that's way too tight for you that has "OMG WTF" printed in bold letters on the front really doesn't say "I'm an intelligent college student - you should consider hiring me." No, that says something more along the lines of "I occasionally color inside the lines of my Barney and Friends coloring book."

...But, I've gotten through it all successfully yet again, and I'm ready to start a new year. :)